someone shouted “do it for the vine” at the train station earlier and i was afraid for my fucking life
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
First Kiss (creator asked 20 strangers to kiss for the first time)
This makes me unbelievably happy.
YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR
WHY DOES THIS NOT HAVE MORE NOTES
I JUST WENT OUT FOR DINNER WITH SOME OF MUM’S WORK FRIENDS AND THERE WAS A GIRL MY AGE BUT SHE DIDN’T SPEAK ENGLISH VERY WELL AND SHE KEPT ASKING THINGS LIKE DO YOU LIKE RICE AND WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE VEGETABLE BUT THEN SHE LEANT OVER AND WAS LIKE HOW LONG ARE YOUR PERIODS AND I WAS LIKE UM 3 OR 4 DAYS???? AND SHE GOES NO I MEANT SCHOOL PERIODS AND IT WAS THE WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE
The same thing happened to me omg
"boys won’t want you if you don’t shave"
joke’s on you boys already don’t want me
we all know that one person you get sexually frustrated just looking at